The No-Cry Nap Solution

Do we really need an entire book devoted entirely to the subject of naps?

I wouldn't have thought so, until I picked up The No-Cry Nap Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley. After reading the first two chapters describing how important naps are to a child's health, mood, and happiness, I couldn't wait to read on and learn some strategies for helping my daughter hang on to her nap as long as possible.

My little girl is two, and family activities sometimes interfere with her nap time. When this happens, she always makes it through the day and simply falls asleep earlier than usual at night. No big deal, right? Except for one thing: by early evening she is bouncing off the walls.

According to this book, a two-year-old generally can only stay comfortably awake for five to seven hours before biologically craving sleep. Newborn babies can't tolerate more than a couple of hours, while a six-year-old might last all day without needing a rest. The pressure that builds up when children are forced to stay awake longer than their bodies want to is called "homeostatic sleep pressure." Pantley has her own term for it: "The Volcano Effect."

After the first section's practical information on sleep and naps, Part 2 of the book specifically addresses newborn babies. This topic certainly deserves its own section because, as the author points out: "The actions we take with our newborn babies set the stage for good napping habits later."

The remainder of the book comprises Part 3, "Solving Napping Problems: Customized Solutions for Your Family." If you have a nap problem in your household, it is probably addressed here, accompanied by a variety of strategies --not just a "one-size-fits-all" solution--to help you resolve the issue.

As someone who is past the baby stage and whose youngest child takes a good nap almost every day, I didn't find every chapter to be relevant to my life. (Although I must say, this book would have come in awfully handy a few years ago!) Yet, aside from being convinced to protect my daughter's nap time, I was also intrigued by the idea of incorporating a "hush hour" in the afternoon for my older children--and myself. We all have a natural drop in energy in the middle of the day. Maybe instead of fighting it, we should all just retreat to our own quiet corners to rest and rejuvenate for a bit.

Doesn't that sound enticing? Siesta, anyone?

The No-Cry Discipline Solution

The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums, and Tears
by Elizabeth Pantley

I’ve always been wary of any parenting “expert” who recommends a one-size-fits-all solution to discipline issues. That’s why I like Elizabeth Pantley’s books so much. She gives great ideas and guidelines, but she acknowledges that parents know their own children best, and that no two kids are alike. As a mother of four with her oldest in college, she has the experience and the perspective to guide parents through the years of tantrums, whining and sleep issues while keeping the big picture in mind.

Pantley’s approach is gentle and respectful toward both children and parents. Besides just correcting the immediate behavior, she feels that the goal and purpose of discipline also includes teaching a lesson, giving the child tools that build self-discipline and emotional control, and building the parent/child relationship.

The book begins by focusing on some essential parenting attitudes and ways to build a strong foundation: ideas for how to relax, enjoy the time with your children more, keep things in perspective and focus on what’s important.

Next, Pantley encourages parents to start by solving the real problem causing the misbehavior. By being more aware of these triggers and using some of her suggested methods to improve cooperation, many behavior problems can be avoided the first place. One of my favorite ideas is to make inanimate objects “talk” to the child. Not only is your kid more likely to cooperate, it also puts both of you in a better mood. It’s almost impossible not to smile while making a pair of shoes ask, “Please, may I go on your feet?”

A sense of humor is certainly helpful, but let’s face it, sometimes it’s just not there. Instead of laughing, we find ourselves yelling: “For crying out loud, hold still and let me put your shoes on!” Feeling angry toward our precious children is completely normal, yet it doesn’t exactly help us teach them about emotional control. Pantley devotes several chapters to the causes and consequences of parental anger, a topic that is rarely covered so honestly and thoroughly in parenting literature. She includes a number of helpful tips for managing anger and reducing anger-inducing situations.

The last section of the book lists more than 30 of the most common behavior problems. Pantley addresses some of the reasons for each behavior, then offers ideas for what to do and what not to do in response.

I guarantee I’ll be referencing The No-Cry Discipline Solution again and again, whether it's for a specific behavior issue or just a dose of parental perspective.

Have you read The No-Cry Discipline Solution? If so, please post your comments!